Worcestershire say no action will be taken following an incident after Surrey all-rounder Batty was out.
Perhaps more importantly, anyone being driven batty by shrieking blasts of ultrasound they couldn't identify?
Mr Batty said the theatre was "one of, if not the oldest building in Colwyn Bay".
Paceman Mason then removed Matthew Spriegel, Gareth Batty and Stewart Walters in the space of seven balls.
Batty's excellent two-hour cameo of 65 took his new county well past the follow-on figure of 302.
Theatre manager Mr Batty said any money was likely to be awarded on a "fifty-fifty" match-funding basis.
Such clubs and feathery balls that were once par for the course would drive a golfer batty today.
Spinners Ashley Giles and Gareth Batty combined to peg Sri Lanka back after they had eased to 72-1.
Worcestershire's win, helped by three wickets for Gareth Batty in his last game, ensured that they finished third.
And Batty shared six wickets with Ian Fisher (3-18 from his 5.5 overs), who is not being retained.
Only Hamish Marshall (28 no), Jonathan Batty and Jon Lewis reached double figures.
Flintoff broke through in the third over as Chamila Gamage edged a rising delivery to Batty at third slip.
Inaudible to anyone not standing in the checkout line, it wouldn't drive cashiers batty or interfere with other store announcements.
Jon Batty struck a couple of big sixes in his 21 before Surrey slumped from 107-6 to 107-9 in quick succession.
The visitors resumed on 110-6 and lost Gareth Batty early to a diving catch by Josh Davey off Tim Murtagh's bowling.
His departure came only a month after all-rounder Adam Hollioake gave up the captaincy, which has now passed to Jonathan Batty.
BBC: SPORT | Cricket | Counties | Surrey | Rixon enters Surrey frame
Tim Batty, curator of the Dinosaur Museum, said the tusks were unusually coloured because they had been in water for so long.
BBC: Tim Batty, curator of the Dinosaur Museum, with the tusks
Wicketkeeper Steven Davies and off-spinner Gareth Batty have come in from Worcestershire, with Piyush Chawla (another spinner) named as the overseas pro.
Rookie right-hander Ashley Wright was the first to go when he edged fellow youngster Philip Sampson to Jonathan Batty behind the stumps.
Mascarenhas hit 18 fours but was denied his first ton for two years when on 99 he was Jon Batty's 500th dismissal.
"There's always a doubt in a batter's mind that you can turn it both ways, so you can apply pressure, " Batty revealed.
Peter Trego had Smith caught at point before Alfonso Thomas had Gareth Batty caught behind as the Somerset attack shared the wickets around.
Despite Batty falling to the 13th ball of the morning, Surrey began to score quickly with Walters (43) and Tremlett adding 67 runs.
The Surrey bowlers then picked up just one wicket before the close, home skipper Chris Rogers being picked up at slip off Gareth Batty.
On a pitch more suitable to spin than pace, they bowled 97 overs between them compared to 73 by Ashley Giles and Gareth Batty.
Batty, the other Worcestershire old boy in the Surrey team, was involved in an exchange with a member of the crowd after his dismissal.
Batty eventually wrapped things up when Ranjith tried to use his feet only to be beaten by the turn and was stumped by Jones.
Batty returned five for 60, and he was instrumental in tucking into the Derbyshire middle order after the opening wicket had realised 103 runs.
England were now in deep trouble, but Flintoff mixed caution with some customary blows as he and Batty added 87 for the sixth wicket.
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