"I don't lie in bed thinking about what I could be doing with it, " she said.

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For hours, I would just lie in bed and listen.

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In bed I would lie on my back practicing until I fell asleep.

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An anxious heat entered my eight-year-old mind and I curled up in bed, hoping Mother would pay me one of her night visits, kiss my forehead, lie beside me.

NEWYORKER: Naima