If I were you, I would make a list of possible jobs and rate each one on both measures.
"I'd take a picture of that if I were you mate, " Liam said.
If I were you, I would focus my brand and competitive strategy against more agile and social challengers such as Yammer.
"I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you, " he told viewers.
"The Theory of Flight" is not a depressing film about a dying woman. (But if I were you I would take some Kleenex.) Rather, this is a wonderfully absurd story about liberation and love.
No, chances are you would not accept my apologies if I were to give you a written document that begins like the above paragraph.
But what if I were to tell you that the most important factor is how a site makes a visitor feel?
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But what if I were to tell you that those statistics may not matter as much as a far smaller number?
If I were to ask you, what are the top 5 most recognizable brands in the world today, you might think of companies like McDonalds, Coca-Cola, Apple, Google and Nike.
If I were to leave you a bottom line, it's that the FDA's credibility and responsibility actually rest on its commitment to the scientific process, and how that scientific process will guarantee public safety.
If I were to give you a figure today, then we are assuming that we will be spending five billion more on unemployment as a result of the way that the calculations are made, and we are unlikely to have to do that.
If I were to ask you which generation of employees is experiencing the most financial hardship, you might think of the Baby Boomers approaching retirement after a decade of weak stock and real estate markets or the Millennials squeezed between poor job prospects and high student loan payments.
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"If I were to hand this to you and you and you'd never heard of the iPhone and I were to tell you 'This is an SAP portal, ' you could buy it, " Rolston says.
If you would, you were talking there I think primarily about Sunni insurgents, the people who have been attacking the government.
"If I took you to a country where they were reading Sanskrit and I was writing that on the board - well anyone would behave badly - how bored would you be when you tried to follow it and all you could understand was the odd word, " says Mr Ryan.
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"Without the system, I wouldn't be able to see anything at all, and if you were in front of me and you moved left and right, I'm not going to realize any of this, " Elias Konstantopolous, one of about 50 Americans and Europeans using the device in clinical trials, told the New York Times.
If I were running your budget, you would be grateful for whatever you received.
And if you didn't know that you wanted to see Groban and Miss Piggy dueling on "If I Loved You" from "Carousel, " you were foolish to doubt.
If you or I were running companies that heavily fined, would we have to admit to ourselves that we were having real trouble managing them?
If you and I were to get together 30 years from now, I know it's hard to envision, what kind of conversation do you think we'll have?
Time spent from start to finish: two hours. (I reckon you could do it in one if you were more disciplined.) Number of wardrobe boxes ticked: four.
That is, if you or I were to introduce a new cola brand with a similar taste, it would hardly make similar sales or for that matter enjoy the same loyalty that Pepsi or Coca-Cola enjoy.
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But if you were hoping, as I was, for a car that rivaled the Giulietta's presence, you'd be disappointed.
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Again, Ann, if I were to have handed one of you these documents, I would be breaking the law.
At this point, if you were short I would think covering into the end of last week made sense.
So I hope you won't mind if I push you at wee bit more than I would were she here.
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If you were bungee jumping and you came out of your shoes, I'd run right up and I'd catch you, baby.
"I said, 'If you were reading this, you would understand, ' " Ms. Beit says.
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