One MP says she has just 30 sheets of headed notepaper left, but cannot get her claims accepted when she tries to buy more.

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Despite the headed notepaper, they are mercifully free from political topspin.

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The poem, written on Army notepaper in blue crayon, consists of four 10-line stanzas, each ending with the name of a distant outpost of the British empire.

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At Syriza HQ, after about two hours poring over election results scribbled on notepaper, amid discarded cans of Amstel, they broke out a fresh packet of Marlboros and breathed.

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