It is similar to the cheap plonk sold in France and other European winemaking countries.

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Around noon, henna artists find a moment of calm to plonk down stools and draw intricate temporary tattoos freehand.

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Did investors plonk their money into an asset class that had been performing strongly over the previous 12 months?

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Wine drinkers who start off drinking plonk often graduate to upmarket varieties.

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It's the perfect accompaniment to a Friday night in on your own with a bottle of plonk and a boil in the bag curry.

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Rather a lot fuss over a bottle of old plonk, surely?

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Tanqueray didn't get to be Tanqueray overnight, and many of the new craft and farm distillers will no doubt make the liquor equivalent of plonk wine.

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In fact, British Columbia's Okanagan Valley, blessed with a Mediterranean microclimate, is home to some respectable vintages and southern Ontario, on the same latitude as France's Languedoc, produces passable plonk.

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Some investors are understandably irate that their funds including one run by the chairman of GMAC, a troubled car-loan firm charged above-average fees, only to plonk the bulk of their cash in Mr Madoff's lap.

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Not surprisingly, however, a Grenache vineyard that will produce dense, tongue-blackening wine when pruned back to yield 3 or 4 tons per acre makes pale, character-free, generic plonk at 10 or 12 tons per acre.

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