"She wants to be understanding, he wants to be able to shove it aside, then he has nightmares, and she says, 'you're not setting it aside, ' " Tabin said.

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But when push comes to shove, they are likely to be set aside and the firm will revert to the dominant paradigm of management: managers controlling individuals within a framework of hierarchical bureaucracy.

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Details aside, I do not aim to get out of my responsibility or shove it off entirely to employers.

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