Conservatives like to pretend that Social Security is an extravagant welfare program so even these pitiful rates of return are inexcusably high.

FORBES: Replacing FDR's New Deal With The GOP's Version Of The Great Society

The major culprit in college football is the pitiful Big East Conference, so good in basketball, but terrible on the gridiron in 2010.

FORBES: Allowing Losing Teams In College Bowls Would Be Disgrace

And the worse part of the pitiful state of most risk assessments is that they could be so much more.

FORBES: Risk Assessments: The Most Important Effort You're Doing All Wrong

On the revenue side, net interest margins on new loans remain pitiful, partly because demand for loans is low and the banks are so eager to lend.

ECONOMIST: Swallow hard

Because I have some kind of pitiful inability to lie, even when it would greatly benefit me to do so, I took a break from looking up stories about Charlie Sheen and emailed back that I had no idea what the whole thing was about.

FORBES: What The Heck Is International Women's Day?

Promulgate the pitiful joke that Americans are hereby exempt from any responsibility for their own actions--so long as there are deep pockets around to be rifled.

FORBES: Ben Stein