He is an asthmatic in a family that bonds on the touch football field.
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But for the love of Lombardi, go outside and play some Thanksgiving touch football.
If you're a random guest at Thanksgiving, it's your job to be good at touch football.
Leicester played with good tempo and showed some impressive one-touch football and that was typified by a stunning opening goal.
You really did slip past those kids playing touch football, or that moose, or that dog racing the engine and losing.
Saints were dominating the midfield with O'Neill and McBride playing some lovely one touch football as they began to press for the second goal.
Meanwhile, my 12-year-old daughter has her left arm in a sling after landing on her shoulder during a touch football game in my front yard.
Unless you're in a fraternity or live inside a Tommy Hilfiger commercial, you probably play touch football only once a year, and Thanksgiving is that day.
The following things are prohibited from Thanksgiving touch football: spikes, eye black, sticky gloves, Jets jerseys, running with a martini glass and a lit cigar, Norv Turner.
The playoff ratings game is a tough one in which the NHL often trails baseball by millions and no one can touch football with its much fewer games.
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When you think about it, there's really only one rule for Thanksgiving touch football: Take your shoes off before going in the house, or Mom is going to kill you.
Or if you fancy playing alongside Brady in a touch football game yourself, plans are underway for Game 2 of the Tom Brady Football Classic to benefit Best Buddies next summer.
Not long ago, my family had a Thanksgiving Day touch football game in which my younger brother who is not a small man temporarily lost his senses and bear-tackled my father in the open field after he'd caught a pass.
It does seem to be true that Eunice felt a physical resonance with athletics, with events that challenged the body, an inheritance of decades of swimming and sailing at the Cape and of touch football on the back meadow at Timberlawn.
Once the action is underway the crowd is kept in darkness, similar to watching a football match under floodlights, but they are kept in touch with match statistics and disputed line call replays on a giant four-sided screen above the court.
New striker Simeon Jackson added an hour of football to the 45 minutes he picked up against Borough, but once again failed to find his scoring touch.
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