Part of me was very frightened and I consciously had to get a grip on myself.

我其实非常害怕，但又不得不有意识地控制住自己。

《柯林斯英汉双解大词典》

I am really frightened of all this - not that I can't fight and get a position for myself, but it makes me sick with fear.

我真的害怕这一切——不是因为我自己不能奋斗无法为自己谋得一个职位，而是这让我恐惧而厌恶。

youdao

I am really frightened of all this - not that I can't fight and get a position for myself, but it makes me sick with fear.

我真的害怕这一切——不是因为我自己不能奋斗无法为自己谋得一个职位，而是这让我恐惧而厌恶。

youdao