I began to live a double life - a very religious person on the outside, with the appearance of a perfect life, but bearing hell inside of me.

我过着一种双面人的生活——表面上非常敬虔，看上去活得不赖，可是我里面却是装满地狱的黑暗。

youdao

It reminded me of my pledge class after a semester of hell, a feeling few folks understood from the outside looking in. It was a fraternity I wanted to join.

这让我想起自己在大学加入兄弟会的情景，经过一个学期的磨炼，我终于能够宣誓入会，这种感觉外人是很难理解的。

youdao

If I was about to go through hell, I was at least making the trip with a man who stood a chance of getting me out alive.

如果我即将要到鬼门关走一遭，至少陪伴我的这个人有机会把我活着带出来。

youdao