...此字乃是希望此心理剧主角既是第一要角、亦是戏剧之作者、表演者与导演，也即另一个意思是“第一位陷入苦痛中”(first in agony)。
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first in agony
首先是痛苦
以上为机器翻译结果，长、整句建议使用 人工翻译 。
"At first I was in agony and despair," he recalls.
“起初我苦恼不安，完全绝望，”他回忆说。
youdao
"At first I was in agony and despair," he recalls. "Then came the thought of what happens when he grows up."
他回忆说：“一开始我陷入了痛苦与绝望，继而想到了当他长大之后会发生什么。”
For the first three days after the operation, he was in agony, and it was eventually found that an epidural had been put in the wrong place and the only pain relief he had had was paracetamol.
BBC: Stafford Hospital: The victims
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