I've provided a good start for your fatty-food future, but clotted cream owns the scones, so to speak.

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The UK has 48 foods protected from imitations by the scheme, including Cornish clotted cream and Melton Mowbray pork pies.

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Choose from raspberry jam and Devonshire clotted cream, or go local with date and zaatar (a Middle Eastern spice mixture of sumac, hyssop and sesame) scones, rosewater-scented grapes and Arabic pastries.

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Scones are a must with any tea party, but he livens things up by serving them with a seasonal jam or compote such as pumpkin in fall or watermelon in the summer, alongside the standard clotted cream and strawberry jam.

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You can get it by mail order, but a recent trip to various expat Brit outlets in New York yielded what was to me more like a somewhat velvety cream cheese spread than the soupier, clottier Double Devonshire clotted cream of memory.

WSJ: Let Them Eat Fat: In Praise of Fatty Foods