Please, young women, smile or simper or smirk or grin, glower or glare, or just mope about if you like, but for the love of God, please put away the duck face.

Now jump up, there's a good fellow, and don't lie moping there on a fine morning like this!

Treat your neck and the backs of your hands as you do to your face by generously applying moisturizer and sunscreen.